Gerry Pate/gerry.pate@shj.com
From left, Nikki Moton, Michael Moton, Donnie Sims Jr. and Tiffany Sims are married couples who have had HIV tests in an effort to influence others to do the same.
“At first they’re kind of shocked,” Nikki Moton said of the reaction they receive.
The Motons consider having an annual HIV test an “act of love.” They also see it as a way to set an example for their children and other couples.
Piedmont Care, a local nonprofit that provides counseling for people diagnosed with HIV/AIDS and teaches prevention, began performing HIV tests in June. Michael Moton has volunteered with the agency for a while and suggested making the testing of married couples a priority.
Moton said he’s heard colleagues and friends talk about the issues they face in their relationships and saw a need for married couples to be tested. Plus, talk of infidelity is often in the news, and some statistics cite a divorce rate as high as 50 percent, so people need to be aware of their status.
“You assume because people are married they’re faithful, but we know that’s not always the case,” Nikki Moton said.
Michael Moton said people sometimes don’t consider what they did before marriage, too.
“Sometimes we have this belief that marriage is the cure-all,” Michael Moton said.
Tracey Jackson, Piedmont Care’s executive director, soon realized Moton had a good point.
“Most of what’s out there about HIV and marriage is mostly about Africa,”
Thousands unaware of HIV status
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 250,000 of the 1 million people living with HIV/AIDS in the
Nikki Moton’s parents founded Under the Shadow of the Almighty Ministry, which does outreach work, including counseling for married couples. Her parents, Minister Donnie and Carolyn Sims, and her brother and sister-in-law, Donnie Sims Jr. and Tiffany Sims, have been tested, and they’re encouraging other couples and singles to do the same annually.
Donnie Sims Jr. said if a married couple is getting tested, then sexually active singles don’t have an excuse for not getting tested.
“If we can be comfortable with this idea, why wouldn’t somebody with multiple partners?” Sims Jr. asked.
The family took free oral tests at Piedmont Care that can provide results within 20 minutes. The entire testing process might take about an hour because of counseling done before and after the tests.
The Motons had been tested before. Michael Moton, however, said his recent test made him think about the behaviors that put people at risk for HIV besides sex, such as tattoos and body piercings.
“Sometimes you assume you know,” Michael Moton said. “I think it’s a good eye opener for anybody.”
Attacking the stigma of testing
He said friends and relatives ask about the testing process, which could be a sign that they’ll get tested. He hopes getting more people tested will eliminate some of the stigma and make it a common practice for his kids as they grow up.
“If we’re going to tackle this problem and tackle the trajectory, we’ve got to rethink it,” Michael Moton said.
He also said people should not feel offended if their spouse suggests getting tested.
“It’s not about being insulted,” Michael Moton said. “We’ve got a crisis going on. You’ve got to drop your ego.”
Tested recently for the first time, Donnie Sims Jr. and Tiffany Sims admit it was an anxious experience.
“It was kind of nerve-wracking,” Donnie Sims Jr. said. “You have a good idea what it’s going to be, but it’s still nerve-wracking. I guess it’s waiting for results.”
“I felt good when I left because I knew my status, but it was reassurance,” Tiffany Sims said.